


Alone Together

by Blood_Haruspex



Category: Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Gen, Isolation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-16 09:19:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19315240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blood_Haruspex/pseuds/Blood_Haruspex
Summary: A short little angsty one-shot of emohawk and space nerd.





	Alone Together

**Author's Note:**

> This is in an AU where the war is going for longer than in Canon, and thus the gang is a little older. By about 2-3 years, but that's just for emotional maturiry's sake.

Tobias alighted softly on his favorite perching branch. It would have been a graceful landing had it not been for the weight in one of his talons, causing him to stumble, teeter, and flap before regaining balance on the branch.

<C’mon, Ax> he called in thoughtspeak. <Lunchtime.>

A moment passed, and then the andalite cantered out of the woods to the clearing the two had designated as their meeting place.

<What have you acquired today?> Ax asked, pointing one of his seven fingers at the food-laden paper bag in Tobias’s claw. <Something that tastes of cinnamon buns or cigarette butts would certainly improve my mood.>

Ax reached for and gingerly took the hot bag, inspecting its contents while Tobias morphed into his human body. Inside lay several wrapped packages coated in varying degrees of grease, as well as bars of a light yellow material sprinkled with crystalline salt. The outside was adorned with two yellow arches.

“I figured it was time you tried McDonald's, since you never got to eat there when we destroyed that yeerk pool underneath,” Tobias said impassively. “Definitely better than cigarette butts.”

Aximili bobbed his head. He was attempting the human gesture of a nod, but it was difficult to approximate with Andalite neck muscles, evolutionarily underdeveloped from reliance on eye stalks. He handed the bag to his now-human friend and began to morph to his own human shape.

Tobias, as well as Rachel and Marco, had always found Ax’s human morph…. A little strange. His behavior was one thing, but acquiring DNA from three males and two females seemed to have only  _ barely _ pushed his biological sex in the direction of male. Ax’s human morph looked highly androgynous but also aesthetically pleasing, not to mention racially nondescript. Tobias always thought Ax’s human morph would make a good elf if they ever made a live-act on Lord of the Rings movie. Pff. Like that would ever happen. Well, if it did, Tobias wanted to play the Eagles. 

“Did you morph buh-back to your human body to buh-buy this? Bod-ee. Eee.” Ax asked in his stilted voice. Tobias shook his head.

“Nope, just waiting until someone ordered what I wanted then swooped down and snatched it from the drive-through window,” he explained. Ax gave him a quizzical look.

“Prince Jake has stated numerous (us) times that (thuh) stealing is wrong (ong onggg),” Ax said accusatorily. Tobias shrugged.

“Probably, but these guys owe us one for hosting a yeerk pool and… They're probably the biggest corporation on earth, one meal isn't going to kill them,” Tobias reasoned. “Besides, they. Probably give away more food than this every day to annoying people who they just want to go away.”

“I don't find you annoying,” Ax popped cheerily. Tobias had to bite back a response about him being the first, but held his tongue. 

Clad in skintight morphsuits, for Tobias a thin t-shirt and tight jeans, both black, and for Ax just a white tank and bike shorts, they set about tucking in. Tobias handed the visibly anticipatory not-human a burger, and sat back to watch the show. It was one of his favorite things about Ax, to watch him react to new earth things. It was at once like watching a toddler learning something new, and seeing a friend open a present you got them; it filled Tobias with a generally  _ good _ feeling he couldn't quite describe.

After explaining that the wrapper had to come  _ off _ to eat the burger, to Ax’s disappointment, Tobias stifled a giggle at the not-human’s face taking his first bite.

“Tobias! Byeee us. This is delicious! Shus. Shussssss,” Ax exclaimed, his smiling lips smeared with ketchup.

“Yup, McD’s is probably the only restaurant everyone in the world likes,” Tobias mused, eating his own burger much more neatly than the Andalite. “They’re in every country on the planet.”

“Two worlds,” Ax responded, chomping at the burger again like a wild man. “This would be quite popular on my home planet.”

After a few minutes, Ax enjoying his “starch bars with salt and grease” so much that Tobias gave him the rest of his, they both lay back on the cool grass of the forest floor. Looking up at the sky with human eyes was like looking at a different world. It looked so distant, a distinct ceiling that felt so far away. Tobias saw a kestrel he hated fly across his field of view, which felt so much smaller and fuzzier than when he was a hawk. He’d have to teach the kestrel a lesson later, but for now he was just enjoying some bro time with Ax. The kestrel had given him an idea, however.

<How does human vision compare to Andalite eyes?> he asked silently. Since they were both morphed, they could use thoughtspeak as easily as their mouths.

<Your eyes see fewer colors, as your retinas receive less of the radiation of an Andalite’s> Ax responded, licking his fingers of residual fry grease.

<You’ve been an osprey, how does it compare?> Tobias prompted.

<Far less acute than the vision of an Earth raptor> Ax noted. <It is only the color that differs from human vision. Why do you wish to know?>

<...Just curious.> Tobias responded. They sometimes they would sit for hours, asking each other questions, answering as best they could. It was strange that Ax would ask him  _ why _ he would be curious about something. <Say, you mentioned that the food would ‘improve your mood’... What did you mean?>

There was a brief silence before Ax’s response came.

“I have been lonely for some time,” he said clinically, out loud.

“Well jeez, I mean if I’m not that important to you-” Tobias began caustically before Ax cut him off.

<You are my  _ shorm _ , and that is important. But Andalites were once a species that lived in herds. As such, we feel…  _ exposed… _ if we are not surrounded by others.>

Now it was Tobias’s turn to be silent. It wasn't something he could really help with. Since the others had all somehow miraculously been accepted to the local community college, they had been so busy that the group barely saw each other outside of missions to disrupt the yeerk threat. Most of the time Tobias was comfortable being alone, leaving Ax alone. The andalite enjoyed watching TV, but  _ The Young and the Restless _ and  _ Invader Zim _ must get boring if all you had for stimulation all day was that and a taciturn birdboy. Tobias felt a pang of guilt that he wasn't more social.

“Ax…” Tobias breathed, sitting up. Ax’s human eyes looked up at him, unable to hold back a sorrowful longing. That was always one of Ax’s biggest complaints about morphing human: controlling emotions became quite difficult. Gingerly, Tobias wiped the residual ketchup from his friend’s face with a napkin, and pulled him up into a sitting position. A wry smile spread across his face as he hatched a plan.

“C’mon buddy, let's demorph. I’ve got an idea.”

 

_________

 

While he’d felt socially isolated for a long time, Ax had grown used to the idea of never seeing another Andalite again. One that wasn't enslaved by the Visser, that is. Much to his surprise, and slight annoyance, Tobias had asked to acquire his DNA. Fair was fair, as Ax had acquired his, but still, did his  _ shorm _ expect him to feel comforted by his own mirror image? It would only remind him of what about himself he didn't like.

That is why, to his shock, Tobias wandered into his scoop wearing a body he did not recognize. It was another Andalite entirely.

<Tobias, where did you meet that Andalite, and why did you bother with my DNA if you already had an Andalite morph?> Ax asked. A rather dashing Andalite morph, at that. He was sleek and slight, a darker blue that Ax, but smaller and, to Ax’s chagrin, more handsome.

<Well, one quarter of it is you> Tobias explained, awkwardly attempting a shrug, but failing and quivering his eye stalks in resignation. <Another quarter is Estrid, the girl who turned out to not be so good for our cause. >

<You know it's immoral to acquire a sentient’s DNA without their permission. In Andalite space it is  _ illegal _ > Ax chided. But seeing the form, he relented. He mixed five humans to form his own human morph, how wrong could four Andalites be. They were a strange pair, either way.

<Third… There was a certain Visser whose host I acquired> Tobias continued. Ax bobbed his head again in what was understood by both to be a nod. The Visser’s host would not oppose any effort to stop the yeerks, and would gladly have his body  _ destroyed,  _ so acquiring his DNA was nothing to him.

<And fourth… was my brother> Ax surmised. Tobias returned the head bob. That is where some of the handsomeness came from, Aximili thought bitterly. That and the female Andalite, who lent Tobias’s morph a gracile and aesthetic frame. Ax looked Tobias up and down, and was able to pick out more and more of his brother’s traits. The way his hooves were lighter than usual. How his tail blade was a little longer than normal, how his fur had that little dark patch on the small of his upright back…

<Tobias, I… I greatly appreciate this gesture, but…> Ax began, searching for the words to say. Tobias took the hint and began to demorph without a word. Ax could only offer him a wistful look of gratitude, both at the attempt  _ and _ the understanding. That unspoken bond was why Tobias was his  _ shorm. _

_ < _ Andalite vision is pretty> Tobias offered once back in his hawk body, ruffling his feathers. <The colors are more vibrant than I expected.>

<Why hadn't you morphed into an Andalite before now?> Ax asked, cleaving through his  _ shorm’s  _ anti-awkwardness smalltalk like, well, a tail-blade. <You’ve had that DNA for a long time.>

<It felt wrong somehow. I wanted to save it, until you… Gave me permission or something> Tobias thought meekly, refusing to meet Ax’s gaze. Aximili was taken aback. Tobias explained before he could question him.

<I felt it would have been disrespectful.>

<You, Prince Jake, Marco, Cassie, Rachel…. You have all taught me much about what it means to be human. I have walked among you, and partaken of your cinnamon buns. You have been wonderful teachers, but I… I

I am afraid I am not an adequate teacher. I do not know how I would begin to introduce you to what it means…> Ax trailed off. He looked off into the forest, now ashamed of his own failings and needs. <I admit, part of what dominates my thoughts at the moment… Is that I may never find another Andalite to spend my life with. I may never see another Andalite again, I may never->

Ax was cut off by an unexpected feeling: a warm embrace. While his head was turned, Tobias must have morphed into his human body, and Ax found him hugging his torso, his cheek against Ax’s chest. He looked down at him, confused. Tobias spoke while Ax was still in shock.

“I’m surrounded by other humans, but none of them understand,” he said gently, his eyes closed. “You’re millions of miles from the nearest Andalite, and I'm alone in a sea of humans who hate me.”

He looked up at Ax, who was numb from the new human expression of emotion, which he’d observed, but never experienced.

“But at least we can be alone  _ together _ ,” Tobias said. Ax gently put his arms around his friend, like he’d seen Cassie and his Prince do for each other countless times. Tobias was warm, nearly eight imperial earth degrees warmer than his own body, but it felt good against the cool autumn air.

Ax lowered himself until his four legs were folded under him, and Tobias responded by falling to his knees, so they were roughly level with each other. Tobias rested his head on his shoulder, and Ax felt hot tears fall onto his back as the human squeezed him a little too tight. Ax was still at a loss as to what to do or say. Such an outburst of emotion, and moreover,  _ vulnerability _ , was out of character for the  _ nothlit.  _ All he knew to do was stay silent, and let the boy vent his emotions. He had known the emotional pendulum of a human body.

As quickly as he had embraced the Andalite, Tobias pulled back. He fell to a kneeling position, sitting on his heels. He sniffed sharply, and wiped his eyes, breathing heavily and looking at the ground rather than Ax.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry… I shouldn't have,” he stammered, his voice wavering and his eyes still streaming fresh tears. Aximili felt his own pain, and perhaps one worse. It was one thing to be isolated  _ from _ your people, but to be isolated  _ by _ your people… It must have been hell for him. But they still felt the same desperate loneliness, the void of social support, friendship, and love.

He reached out with a seven-fingered hand and placed it on the human’s burning hot cheek. Tobias looked up, and for a moment Ax was afraid he would pull away, but Tobias just looked into his eyes. His lip quivered, and he could tell it was okay.

<I’m sorry I can't express this as naturally as you can> Ax said, slowly morphing to human, his hand still on Tobias’s cheek. The wind blew around them, chilling Ax’s human back, but the burning wave of emotion that crashed over him made him feel hot and numb.

Humans experience more raw, primal, and visceral emotions than andalites, and as such, express them without thought or control. The moment Ax broke his concentration and finished morphing, his own lip quivered, his lungs spasming and his eyes blurring with tears. His own isolation. His shame. That he would never be content on an alien world … all of it hit him like a wall. His hand fell away from Tobias’s face, and clutched his chest. He looked at Tobias, who seemed on on the verge of a new batch of his own tears, and they broke down together.

Tobias hugged Ax tight, both of them sobbing on each other’s shoulders. It felt good to let it out, Ax discovered. He felt a powerful urge to hold onto the human and never let him go. In his mind he knew that the boy was his only friend, and perhaps the only one he’d ever have. Certainly the only one who could ever  _ understand _ . And he sobbed for joy at having him. 


End file.
